why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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