I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
