Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
