found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
