That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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