For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
