I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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