I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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