I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
