homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
