It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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