Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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