I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
