You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
