well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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