I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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