he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
