You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There's even glitter on my cock...
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