How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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