I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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