so that wasnt chicken after all
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
