I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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