I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
