420 ftw
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
