Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
