She announced her abortion via fbk
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
