with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
