I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
