just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
