I will die if light touches me.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Small penises have feelings too.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize