He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i came on her dog
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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