weddingsv make me drug and hornr
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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