Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
