No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
