you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
