Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I love you. Go after that dick
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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