So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
