Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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