I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
