Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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