my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
3pm strippers are depressing
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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