The maid of honor just puked.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
