you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
