i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
