Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
People in love make me want to vomit
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
