once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
