i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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