We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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