i wish peter jackson would direct porn
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
