So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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