check it out our google latitudes are spooning
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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