I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
