Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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