He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
