Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
