Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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