she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
