You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
