I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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