Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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