I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is it because I queefed?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
