My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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