Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
