There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
