he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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