i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
