im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
