I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You ruined the universe
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
