This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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