so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Im part way to drunk.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
