he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
