playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
