You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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