I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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